So many emotions can break one’s heart from anger to jealousy to plain hurt and disappointment. I think everyone experiences emotions that seem to break your heart open in terms of relationships whether they be with a friend, significant other or family. Whatever those emotions are, they can provide an avenue to heal yourself. We can’t change how others think or treat us, but we can control how much energy we let them have by being in our heads and controlling our emotions. One of my pet peeves as a therapist is hearing “How does that make you feel?” (I’m cringing just typing it!). When we use “make” we imply blame on someone else and I don’t know anyone who blames others and then feels better. You are in control of what happens in your head.
Use those negative relationship emotions past or present to fuel your drive to give something to yourself this week instead of giving energy to someone else who has hurt you. This can be saying something positive in your self-talk such as “I’m awesome!” or “I’m a great friend.” Whatever it is, be kind to yourself and remember you are in control. Believe it and refocus that energy on something positive for you because I bet that person that hurt you doesn’t deserve to be in your head!